Claude Code Review: Meet the Sissies đ§”
An opinionated deep dive into Claude Codeâs multi-agent review systemâhow specialized reviewers for accessibility, security, performance, React, TypeScript, and more quietly raise the bar for frontend teams.
Why Another Code Review System?
Code review is where engineering ideals go to either matureâor rot politely.
Most review tools fail in one of two ways:
- they are too shallow (âLGTM đâ), or
- they are too noisy, dumping generic lint wisdom with no sense of project context.
Claude Codeâs review commands take a different route:
they split responsibility across specialized, opinionated agents, each with a sharply defined role, shared standards, and zero tolerance for vague feedback.
Collectively, theyâre known (affectionately, and a bit dangerously) as The Sissies.
The Big Idea: Specialized Review Agents
Instead of one omniscient reviewer pretending to be good at everything, Claude Code runs parallel reviewers, each focused on a single dimension of quality:
- accessibility
- security
- performance
- SEO
- styling
- code quality
- React patterns
- TypeScript safety
- git hygiene
- QA & requirements
Each agent:
- follows the same commenting contract
- uses consistent severity levels
- posts actionable GitLab threads
- ends with a summary verdict
Letâs meet them.
𩯠Colorblind Sissy â Accessibility
Accessibility reviews are usually an afterthought. This agent treats them as blocking engineering requirements.
Focus areas:
- semantic HTML
- keyboard navigation
- ARIA correctness (and restraint)
- WCAG A / AA compliance
- reduced motion and focus visibility
If something is inaccessible, itâs not ânice to have.â
Itâs a â must-fix.
đ SecuSissy â Security
This agent assumes attackers are clever, bored, and motivated.
It looks for:
- XSS and unsafe rendering
- leaked secrets
- auth and session mistakes
- insecure client-side logic
- dependency risk
No fear-mongering. Just calm, precise threat modeling.
⥠TurboSissy â Performance
Performance reviews are about what scales badly before it hurts.
Checks include:
- unnecessary re-renders
- misuse of
useEffect,useMemo,useCallback - data fetching waterfalls
- bundle bloat
- Core Web Vitals impact
If it slows users or burns CPUs quietly, TurboSissy notices.
đ Canonical Sissy â SEO
SEO here means technical crawlability, not marketing fluff.
This agent checks:
- server-side rendering of content
- meta tags and canonical URLs
- heading hierarchy
- hidden content
- international & RTL correctness
If Google canât see it, it doesnât exist.
đš ChicSissy â Styling & Design Systems
This is where design systems stop being optional.
Focus:
- Tailwind discipline
- DaisyUI correctness
- RTL safety (no left/right crimes)
- spacing consistency
- contrast and touch targets
It enforces visual consistency as engineering hygiene, not taste.
đ§č KISS Sissy â Code Quality
Readability is a feature.
This agent hunts:
- bloated functions
- unclear naming
- deep nesting
- DRY violations
- speculative abstractions
If future-you would sigh reading this code, KISS Sissy already did.
âïž Hooked Sissy â React
React reviews that actually understand React.
It checks:
- Server vs Client Component boundaries
- hook correctness
- state colocation
- effect misuse
- component responsibility
No cargo-cult patterns. No unnecessary use client.
đ Unknown Sissy â TypeScript
TypeScript isnât for vibes.
This agent flags:
any- unsafe assertions
- missing null handling
- sloppy generics
- bad type boundaries
It pushes toward type-driven design, not annotation theater.
đ Detached-HEAD Sissy â Git & PR Hygiene
This agent lives in your commit history.
It reviews:
- commit messages
- branch naming
- PR size
- missing Jira references
- accidental file changes
Clean history is a long-term asset.
â BugSlayer Sissy â QA & Requirements
This agent asks the uncomfortable question:
âDid we actually build what was requested?â
It:
- maps code to Jira requirements
- finds edge cases
- generates test checklists
- flags scope creep
Code can be elegant and still wrong. BugSlayer keeps receipts.
đ Puppet Master â The Orchestrator
The Puppet Master doesnât review code.
It:
- parses MR metadata
- runs architecture discovery
- spawns enabled agents
- collects results
- posts the final verdict
Think of it as a conductor, not a judge.
Why This Works
Claude Codeâs review system succeeds because it is:
- opinionated (standards are explicit)
- modular (agents can be enabled/disabled)
- parallel (fast, focused feedback)
- context-aware (architecture discovery first)
- actionable (every comment suggests a fix)
It doesnât replace humans.
It raises the floor so humans can focus on judgment instead of janitorial work.
Closing Thought
Good code review isnât about catching mistakes.
Itâs about teaching the codebase how to stay healthy.
The Sissies donât nag.
They document expectationsârelentlessly.
And that, quietly, is how teams level up.